I imagine things

The moment your world crashes around you, is the moment you don't realize it.

you hear it, the truth.

but you don't know it at first. 

denial. 

The most beautifully ignorant word in the English language.

Then it begins to phase you, the truth does.

you begin to think of all the possible situations. 

and what could lead to what.

If it's a text, you read it a million times.

If it was words or actions, you remember it a million times.

and then you get that weird, odd feeling.

Where your whole body gets cold and shivers, but seems scalding hot inside, at the same exact time.

You get goose bumps.

You get that feeling that most people get while riding the tower of terror. 

Free falling for 13 stories.

like you're going to throw up your own stomach.

Then it feels like some monstrous creature is inside of you, ripping at your heart, angry and jealous and wishing so badly that it could cry.

Taking it all out on your poor fragile heart.
You feel hopless.
Like floating in the air, just waiting to fall.
Knowing it will come, inevitably.
and you're never good enough.
No matter what you do or try to accomplish.
There comes a time where people get to used to you.
take you for granted.
want something different.
something more.
not you.
and you're just never enough.